Don't let the "Mean Girls" get to you...

Today, I was prepared to write about adult mean girls. Prior to the base that I am currently at, I had heard the headlines about adult mean girls. Truthfully, I thought it was hype...I had never met an adult mean girl in real life.  However, as I became more involved at this base, I realized that I found the breeding ground of that rare animal called, "Adult Mean Girls." The more volunteer and leadership positions that I took on, the more that I made myself a target for these adult mean girls.

I was sure that I would be writing the reasons as to why there seem to be more adult mean girls within military communities and I came up with some theories that made a lot of sense (at least to me).  My first theory was that girls who were not popular growing up have the chance to start fresh and still have a chip on their shoulder for how someone may have treated them growing up. Another theory was that some people are just more miserable being away from family and their support system and like to take it out on others. I tried to analyze the actions that I saw by these people; however, the truth is that the mean girl with the biggest vengeance towards me liked me until we were at the same event and everyone raved over how cute my daughter was, but nobody said a comment about her daughter the same age.

The adult mean girls on my base made it so that I did not like volunteering. I continued to volunteer, but instead of the normal "feel good" feeling that comes from giving of your time for something great, it felt like a chore. As of yesterday, I had enough with mean girls and I was ready to just get to my new base...and selfishly, I already had it in my head that I did not want to volunteer when I got there. I know that you are not supposed to feed a bully by letting them know that they have gotten to you, but the truth is yes-- the mean girls get in my head and it hurts.

Today, I had a change of heart. Not about the mean girls...the facts are that they are out there, there seem to be more on military bases, and I will probably always run into a mean girl somewhere. However, I am not going to let them get me so far down though that I stop volunteering. Volunteering had felt like a thankless job...which the truth is that a lot of volunteer opportunities in military communities are thankless.  As nice as it feels though to get acknowledged, I do not volunteer for the pat on the back...I do it to help other military families-- because I have a heart for others.

What brought this change of heart today? Someone that cared enough to make sure that I did get acknowledged before I switch bases. That person recommended me for a Base Commander's Coin and Certificate of Excellence.  The irony is that it was for the smallest of my volunteer positions. However, that is what made it the most special...the fact that it was a little thing that I dis that got noticed and that the acknowledgment today was totally unexpected.

Don't take the easy way out...

Me at the podium speaking at a college conference speaking on "Managing a Full Platter"
...now, I am the one feeling life getting the better of me and my platter is tipping and overflowing a little.  

Today's life lesson is not to take the easy way out. As I switched over from website to blog, I thought it would be quick and easy to just "copy and paste" the articles into here that I did not want to lose. I loved the fact that I did not have to insert each picture individually. As I checked in on the blog today, I realized that taking the easy way out turned around and bit me...all of my pretty pictures are gone and my readers are stuck looking at a boring page of just words.

Apparently, the pictures did not actually copy over; instead, they linked to the website and since it it is gone so are the pictures. I do vow to replace the pictures...it will be a couple of weeks though. I know...that is not encouraging news. I promised bigger and better changes as I moved over from website to blog. This was supposed to be a great move and instead I seemed to fall off of the face of the earth.

Well, I have not exactly fallen off of the face of Earth, but I am gearing up to move to the other side of it. Over the last few months, this Army family found out that our adventures will continue in a different country. With that news we have been busy preparing and so many great writing ideas have gone through my head... unfortunately, the busyness has given me a form of writer's block. I will admit that I have been overwhelmed with the sense that my "to do" list is longer than the hours in the day. Instead of my writing looking like an outlet, it came as another task on the "to do" list...even though it does not take much time to write an article and edit a picture to go with it, time just felt like something that I did not have. Realistically, it was more of a writer's block-- the ideas were there, but I just could not bring myself to write...probably out of guilt of everything else that I should be accomplishing.

Today, I took the step. Today is the first day of really writing on the new blog...and boy do I have things to write about! Life is busy, busy, BUSY right now. That busyness gives a lot of writing topics though...topics that help other military families that are going through the same thing and yet interesting to those who are not military and just looking in. Today's blog article came with the announcement of a big move, but it also comes with the promise to get my writing back on track. I will continue to write articles regularly from now on out...as for getting the new blogs fully set up the way that I want and fixing the old content that I transferred, it will get done...I just ask for your patience over the next couple of weeks as I get things prepped for the movers to pick up our household goods.

Please stick around and join us on over overseas adventure!

Bugle Etiquette

One of my favorite articles that I am transferring from my website as I transition to blogs. 

The scene: It is 5 p.m. and you are driving through base. You come up to a green light and find some person “parked” in front of the light. You start to boil. You start to honk. You think something along the lines of, “Man- this idiot must not be paying attention!” Nope- not true…that “idiot” is probably me (or someone like me) and I’m definitely paying attention to something– the sound of the bugle call playing retreat signifying that somewhere on base the flag is being lowered.

Welcome to my pet peeve…my biggest pet peeve of all pet peeves. If you have business on base (whether you are military, a family member, a civilian employee or contractor, or even just a visitor) the you have the responsibility to educate yourself on the etiquette and protocol of how things are done on base. Which, yes, for us spouses there should be a spouse’s handbook or a mini-bootcamp teaching us all of the important things we need to know about military life (minus the rough and tumble stuff). There is part of me that thinks I cannot fault someone for not knowing, but at the same time people need to take responsibility for themselves…which in this situation if you see cars pulling over and hear music, then you might start to wonder if there is something you should know. I am posting this because this hasn’t been a once or twice thing…watching people ignore the bugle calls is a daily basis thing around my base.

So, here is my “course” in Bugle Call 101:

There are 3 times a day that the music will usually play:

Reveille- generally around sunrise. My base has a set time of 6:30 a.m. …which is also the time that you will see a lot units form for p.t. (physical training) so that they can pay proper respect  in a formation as the flag is being raised.

Retreat- generally around sunset as the flag is being lowered. 5p.m. for my base.

Taps- signifying the end of the day. 9p.m. for my base.

**Check with your individual base for actual times at your location.

The significance/history of the bugle calls:

Reveille: The bugle call of either “To the Colors” or the “National Anthem” (depending on your base) is played with the rising of the “Colors” (the American Flag). Many bases have a single canon shot accompany the bugle call. Reveille is the French word for “wake up” and is believed to have been used all the way back to the 1600′s as way of waking soldiers for battle.

Retreat: A bugle call for “Retreat” is sounded just before the American Flag is lowered and the song “To the Colors” is played during the actual lowering of the flag.  ”Retreat” is also a French Crusades bugle call. It signified the end of the day and for soldiers to return to their quarters for the night. (If only war was really that dignified and stopped for soldiers to get a good night’s rest.) The combination of “Retreat” with “To the Colors,” as we see it today, is believed to date back to the American War for Independence (otherwise known as Revolutionary War).

Taps: “Taps” is played at the end of the day signifying the end of the working day or “lights out.” The tradition originated with the playing of  the French song, “L’Extinction des feux” which was later thought to be too formal and changed to the bugle call “Tattoo” which later morphed into “Taps” that we know today. Most people think of “Taps” as a way to honor fallen soldiers at funerals, but it is also played at the end of the day to honor those who gave their lives that day.

Protocol during the bugle calls (in simplest terms):

• ANYONE IN CIVILIAN CLOTHES (military, their spouses, civilians of any type including children) should immediately stop what they are doing, face the flag (if you cannot see a flag then face either the direction you know the flag is or where the music is coming from), remove any hats, and place their hands over their hearts…same  as they would for the playing of the “National Anthem.”
• Military members not in a formation, but still in uniform (including pt-s) should come to attention and salute while the music is being played. (**Military members should definitely be aware of protocol for bugle calls for every situation and if not be clarifying with their command…so, I’m not going in depth. However, with that said, I did have a Navy person in uniform ask me what the music meant and if they were to do anything while it played…so, PLEASE- if you are on a joint military base and are not aware of protocol…PLEASE ask!)
• If the bugle calls play while you are driving on base, you should pull to the side of the road. All military personnel shall get out of the car and pay the proper respect while the bugle call is being played. (When riding in buses and military trucks, only the senior member needs to get out.)

**Note- There is no official protocol for when taps is played as it is not a “flag ceremony.” However, it is an unwritten courtesy to pay the same respects (stand at attention) for this as well…afterall, it is to honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice.

Source for Army regulation: AR 600-25 Section 3-1 Reveille and Retreat, and Appendix C-2 Ceremonies(which section 3-1 refers the reader to).