Priorities

I am happy to come from a family with many admirable qualities…qualities that I would like to think I have inherited as well. One of those qualities is a strong work ethic. I have always been taught to give things my full effort in all I do, to never do anything halfway, and to strive for perfection. My strong work ethic and ability to do a good job at anything I set my mind to has made me a desired commodity.

Maybe these qualities make me too desired. Another admirable quality that I have inherited is a notion to give back to the community and be giving to those around me. Military life gives me plenty opportunities to give of my time. Rephrase- too many opportunities to give of my time and, with a strong work ethic, it seems that everyone wants that time. While many people would be eager to hear the phrase, “You’d be great at this,” it makes me cringe. Yes- I would be great at this; that is why I am already doing it for multiple people already. What many people not associated with the military do not realize is that a lot of the amenities on bases are possible because of the volunteers. The military requires a vast number of volunteers in order to help run the softer side of the military- the family side.

Strong family values and a close knit family are two other inherited qualities of importance to me. Unfortunately, it was my tween’s comment, “It seems like everyone else has your time lately,” that made me realize my life has been spread too thin lately. My priorities have become unbalanced. I also inherited a bad quality from my family– the inability to say, “no,” when asked to help with something.

One major time crunch for me lately has been starting up a Family Readiness Group (FRG) for my husband’s unit. For those who do not know what it is, the briefest explanation is that it is a program required by the military to help the families with resources and support during deployments as well as keep the morale within the family side of the unit when not deployed. With turnover in our unit, this program was something that over time drifted away. I was approached getting the program up and running again…which meant starting from scratch. In turn, that meant a LOT of hours getting it started.

Starting an FRG for the unit is not something that I mind doing, it is  just time consuming. With that, I kind of took a slap in the face when a female soldier told me that she knew I would be perfect because I had so much time on my hands and that I would not be, “just staying home bored with the girls anymore.”  Was that REALLY what she thought my life was like? Did she really think that stay-at-home moms sat home bored every day? If she only knew. I am not going to get in the whole working mom vs. stay-at-home mom debate as I have lived both sides of it. What I will say is that currently, between actively playing mommy to a toddler, home schooling a tween, keeping up with housework, running my own website (not so effectively after tossing in FRG), and other volunteer commitments prior to taking on FRG, I had more tasks to do in my day than hours to do it in.

A few years ago, I taught a lecture at a college conference titled, “Managing a Full Platter.” The concept was that my life was so busy that I did not just have a full plate, but instead I had a platter. Despite having that platter of commitments, I was able to keep my life in balance to keep everything organized and down. Somehow, over the last few years my own platter has begun to tip over and some of the metaphorical food is falling off. I plan to keep my focus in the direction of my priorities. Now, I am taking back my life. I will not be giving up any of the commitments that I have made, but I do plan to keep my life in order to make sure that the most important aspects stay at the top of my list. What are these priorities? Here are the top three:

(1) The Christian foundation that my family was built upon.

(2) My family itself. This section is broad and can mean so many things- playing with my kids so that they know that mommy enjoys spending time with them, home schooling my older daughter and this coming year incorporating preschool for my younger daughter, keeping my house a home- which includes keeping it clean and organized, showing my love to my family through the food that I prepare, and so many more aspects.

(3) Time for me. The person that I never take time for is myself. I am very good at making sure that everyone else is taken care of; however, I tend to neglect myself. I plan to make *me* a priority. I do not plan to become self absorbed, but I do plan to make sure that I have a place on that balanced platter in my life. Part of time for me is actually this website. Yes- it is another form of giving time for others, but the truth is that it helps me as well…writing is what I love to do. Writing allows my mind to take a break from normal life and focus in a different direction for a period of time. Writing on the website also help me keep some of my writing skills for when I choose to enter the work force again. While my writing on this website is not exactly the style that I would write if I was writing for pay, it allows me to try out different writing styles and still gives me a voice.

Maybe you are like me. Maybe you have found your life a little out of skew lately. Sometimes it is hard to tell when your priorities are a little off kilter and we do not realize until we drop that full platter. I encourage everyone to look at their life. What are your priorities? Is your time distributed so that the majority of your time is going to your priorities? I once attended a lecture where they gave us a pie chart with different commitments (school, work, volunteering, family, etc.) and asked us to draw a line within each section as to how much time we dedicated to each commitment. The question in the end was if your circle was still round. The theory was that you should be perfectly balanced between each area of your life. The truth is that each of our priorities are different. Instead, know your priorities and know your limitations. Make sure that the important aspects of your life get the most of your time and make sure that you do not go beyond the overall limits of time that you have to give in the day. I know that there are days when I wish there were more hours in the day, but the truth is that the number of hours are right– it has been me that has overstocked my day.